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That night when I saw her start to pack, the enormity of what I had done hit me. I couldn’t breathe. I knew in my heart how much I needed her but somewhere else I thought she would always be there no matter what I did. The sight of her suitcase brought my life back into focus. I begged her to stay and give me the chance to make it right. I promised to stop drinking and said to her, “Mom it doesn’t matter that we have thirty dollars in the bank, I only need you; please let me be your love again.”My mother’s forgiving heart opened to me but it was years before I forgave myself. That night she told me why the remark I had made about not being married had been so upsetting to her. We were lying in bed and I told her about the fantasy I had had for years about her on the phone. She laughed and said, “i’ve had one of my own too baby.” I kissed her and urged her to tell me about it. As she began to talk I rested my hand on the satiny material that covered my mother’s pussy and massaged. "Schoolgirl? Sounds dangerous to me." Dangerous... Dave?" I couldn't help but tease him, although years of abuse meant he probably didn't even register the taunt. "She's definitely 16, so she's legal, and she fancies me..." Yeah but it's ten years' difference. She'll probably be more hassle than it's worth." Than 'it's' worth? We could be made for each other, Dave. This could be happily ever after." That's what you said about whatsherface - the 40-year-old." Lisa." Yeah, that's the one. Why can't you just find a nice girl your own age?"What he didn't add was 'like me'. Dave had found a girl who met all his criteria and married her. I had no intention of following his lead right now. But I did want to find a 'nice' girl and do 'nice' things with her. In Amber I knew that I had found a nice girl - and possibly a naughty girl, which was even better, one who I fancied and who I was sure fancied me. The only thing holding me back was her age. It was definitely weird for a 26-year-old man.
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